Practical over Passionate

Does it have to be one or the other?  Either I pursue the practical or I pursue my passion?  Is it an either/or OR could it be a both/and?

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”  ~ Nelson Mandela

My guess is, I’ve made it an either/or instead of a both/and.  And as much as I would like to make choosing the practical sound “adult” and “responsible”, it’s also boring, safe, and limiting.  Not because practicality is always the boring, adult choice, but because I have created two completely separate categories without any chance of a beautiful blend.

In the interest of greater transparency and authenticity, I have to admit my battle is not between what is practical and what I am passionate about.  The battle is between what is safe and what is unknown…what I know I can do versus taking a chance…control versus trust…self-reliance versus complete dependence.  And what I need to accept is I am the one limiting myself, playing it small, maintaining the boring.  This is a self-imposed cage.

To be free, however, involves letting go, taking a chance, stepping into the unknown, trusting, and depending on the One who promises MORE.  I am choosing a cage of fear rather than a freedom of faith.

“Fear can diminish our willingness to risk.  To dream.  To try again.  To believe again. Instead of declaring, we question.  Instead of standing, we shrink.  Instead of persevering, we quit.  Instead of trusting, we worry.  Instead of resting in God, we exhaust ourselves.”  ~ Christine Caine (from Unexpected)

So, shit (yes, even Christ-followers swear), what does all of this mean?  What do I do now?  How do I know when a risk is the right risk?

And this is where my anxiety-ridden, analytical, self-sufficient, fearful tendencies (and the enemy) tell me it’s not worth it.  It’ll be too hard.  It will cost too much.  I could fail.  There’s no way I’m capable or adequate.

And the Truth tells me, “You’re right.  It will be hard.  It will cost a lot.  You probably will fail at some point.  You are not capable or adequate.  BUT I AM.”

The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.  ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NIV)

Man, that is incredibly hope-filled and still causes me a lot of anxiety (insert nervous laughter).  I’m thinking that’s the point though.  Choosing what He has stirred in my heart, choosing the passionate, is not easy or comfortable.  But as much as it causes heart palpitations, it is the only thing that feels right.  It’s the only journey that actually feels like living.

All that being said, I can’t commit to much.  But I can commit to taking the next step in faith, trust, and risk when I am confident it is something God is calling me to.  I’m committing to my answer being yes just for that next step.  That’s all He’s asking of me.  One step at a time, bathed in trust.

So, I think that is what this blog will be about.  A very raw, transparent journaling of this journey into the unknown, risk, passion, trust, and faith over fear.  I don’t guarantee it will always be exciting, but I am convinced choosing dependence, trust, and risk comes in the small as well as the big.

Join me.  Company always makes it better.  Here we go.  One step at a time.